Journal Entry (excerpts) from February 27th... See, now this is the way you do it. Don't write for a few days and then open up this book and say "Wow, where have the last 4 days gone?" Actually they HAVE gone fast but not fast enough seeing that i still have 29 to go. But hey, not bad considering that i started out with over 100. Can you believe that? One hundred days of wasted energy only to have to go back to N.Y. that much closer to age 23 and start all over.
So much for our big "week off" that Hector promised. Iris Chacon and her group are here and so we're supposedly doing only one show a night this week, but he's combined parts from both the shows which means we're not really getting much of a break. In addition, we're leaving tomorrow (our day off) to do a show in Santiago, so essentially we're doing two weeks without a break. Let's hear it for big favors! But i've watched Iris's show for the past three nights and though her dancers and choreography leave much to be desired it's still exciting to see dancing in any form!... and believe it or not I'm actually beginning to enjoy her and her songs.
Iris Chacon
March 1st... This is the best news i've heard in ages! It's March 1st... COUNTDOWN! Not only that but the new show starts on the 22nd which means we'll be done on the 20th!! Can it be? Anyway, i'm changing my reservation to the 21st and that's when I'm leaving! I'll keep my March 28th reservation just on the slim chance that Doug decides to come that week... Who am i kidding?
I had a nightmare yesterday, except that it really happened! I think i can definitely say it was the worst day i've had since i got here if you can even imagine such a thing. Just try, if you can, to picture our show in the middle of a football stadium! And that's not the worst part. I had to put on my makeup in the middle of the field using a car window for reflection because our "dressing room" had no mirrors, and it was also about the size of my room. 30 girls trying to squeeze into costumes all at the same time, to say nothing about the way all or our costumes were thrown in lumps so we had to sort through all of them to find our own. Now for the show...
I stood for 15 minutes by the door of the dressing room in full feathered garb (except for the pieces i never found) waiting for the show to start, while drunk Dominican men were literally hanging over the side of the bleachers drooling and calling out obscenities. Finally, when it was time to start, we were escorted through the mob of gappers by policmen.. armed with sticks and leather straps!
I don't even remember doing one step of "Night and Day" because i was too busy trying to hold my hat on in the wind and combating the feathers blowing wildly in my face. Then there were all the cables and cords to have to negotiate around. When i told Kathe i wasn't going to wear my meringue hat she ordered "Jannet, you've got to wear it, this is your job!"
I don't even have to tell you aout the chair number in our black G-strings. In fact i probably don't have to tell you about the rest of the show. It was a disaster and yet Hector stood there, stoned as ever, enjoying the whole big joke. In retrospect i guess i feel kind of bad for being so obnoxious about everything but i have never been more humiliated in my life! If there'd have been any way at all to leave right then and get on the next plane i surely would have. Not gonna forget that experience for a long time.
Then on the bus ride home i had to fight off Joe R's hands which were all over me. I just wanted to shout "You have some f'ing nerve!" He won't leave me alone! We finally pulled over to a little cheese stand at around 3 am after not eating all day. A far cry from the champagne dinner Hector had promised us.
Unfortunately(?).. I have no photos to share from this occassion...
March 6th... I have so many new plans. Of course i know that very few of them will actually happen, but it's kind of fun wondering which ones will. But first, before anything, i've been having some wonderful nights lately. Watching Iris's show, drinking, dancing.. just knowing i'll be going home soon makes all of this so much easier. I'm even friends with Judy, or as much as i can be.
I went to get my ticket today and to endorse my Dominicana ticket over to Pan Am to fly home to California for a few weeks. Then they noticed the "non-endorsable" written on my ticket. Hector de San Juan does it again! So i have to fly back to NY from here before i go home, but the fun part is that i'll be in NY for 10 hours. I wrote Doug and told him to expect me for dinner!
I haven't told anyone i'm leaving on the 21st. I know i should but i just want to leave. I need to leave. I'll worry about it when the time comes.
March 9th... I have never been this bored! Simply because after i write to you i have nothing to do until 9:30 when i put my makeup on, and it's only 6:00 now. I can't even talk to most of the people in this house and the ones i CAN talk to i don't care to talk to. But then again, the ones i CAN'T talked to i want to talk to even less so i guess it's all for the best...
I had a wonderful day at the pool today swimming and sunning. If i keep this up till i leave i'll be darker than Doug ever thought of being. It ain't gonna be too hard since i have nothing else to do but pack and make one more trip into town. 10 days! Can it be true???
Judy actually just came by to see if i wanted to go for a walk. Everyone else must have been busy.
The beginnings of skin issues...
March 10th... Well this is a way to make the day go fast. Sleep until 3:30! I did see "That's Entertainment 2" though at the American Cinema though and which took a few hours but it's still only 7:30 with 2 1/2 hours to go. But it was fabulous! How wonderful to have your talents emblazoned on celluloid forever. Oh to be that talented! I forgot about how much i love Gene Kelly and how happy he makes me! I guess that's what it's all about!
March 11th... All i do is lay around and dream about home! There are really so many happinesses there. I just hope my expectations don't overwhelm me and then disappoint me when i get there. They have a tendency to do that. If i can only remember that i have changed and so has everyone else, and i can't expect it to be the same. I don't want to try to live in the past because the present is so new and so many things are happening inside of me. But the fact that i know it can't ever be the same again is the thing that puts me into fits of depression. It's a very scary thing letting go of your chilhood.
March 12th... Nine days! A mere drop in the bucket... a single speck of sand on the beach of time... a freckle on the complexion of life! No problema! Sun & sleep & show & GO!
I have a clue that Douglas will somehow decide to descend upon me the week of the 21st and I really don't know what i'll do. I'd rather have him save his money and take me somewhere else. Someplace that won't have these memories for me, a place that we can enjoy for the first time together. But at this point all i can think about is home and can almost forget about any romance for the time being. I haven't felt like myself for so long and it's time i just got back to living.
March 13th... I guess i just feel like being alone right now, but i don't feel like sitting in the dressing room listening to chattering Dominicans. I've had far too much of that already today. So i'm sitting in the restaraunt just praying that no one will come in and sit by me. Ha, the girls just came in and kindly sat at the next table. Thank goodness! They're all making it quite obvious to me that they don't agree with what i'm doing. They are saying that it's always good to keep an open door because you just never know. But I do know Hector and he will never change and i don't ever want to work in another one of his productions or in anything that he even remotely represents ever again, ever. Then i was thinking about the old rule about asking yourself "What would Jesus do in this situation?" Ha, I hardly think he would ever have found himself in this situation! I just feel that i have to leave! Not only because i feel i'm needed at home right now but because i hate myself every time i go out on that stage unless i completely block it out of my mind and I never want to have to block out of my mind anything i do in this profession that i love. Anyway, I still think i'm doing the right thing and if i'm not, i guess i'll learn.
Not Jesus... :)
Just Chalky...
Had an experience today which i guess i'm glad happened but am more than glad now that it's over and done with. I went with Diane and a few of the other Domincan girls to a place called Rocamar. A house with a pool, a bar and a dance floor. It started off ok, until the mobs arrived. I've never seen such mass confusion in my life. I think i was the only Americana in the place and i was goggled (not to be confused with googled) and touched and trampled and smothered till i thought i couldn't bare it. The people here are so CRAZY when they all get together in one space. It was like a scene from "Day of the Locust"! I just wanted to scream. I had no way home and of course it took over an hour to get everyone rounded up. Didn't get home until 9:00 and was exhausted for the show. One more to go and then it's straight to bed for me afterwards!
Sola Americana... :)
March 14th... Ay Dios Mia!!! I'm at least partially through my last day off but still got all night with nothing to do. I have a feeling this will be my hardest night to get through. From here on it's downhill. What a sweaty day i've had! One of the hottest days in the sun i've spent so far and still not half as tan as Doug is after two weeks in Hawaii. But i've still got six days and the torture will be easier knowing that it's my final tan.
Then i spent about three hours on El Conde and at the Mercado. It's still such a trip trying to communicate with the Dominican people, though most of the people in the stores are really nice and think it's funny that i can't speak Spanish and i usually get alot of attention.
I'm beginning to feel very spooked about leaving. I mean i'm happier than ever, but nobody but the American girls know i'm leaving and it'll be sad just sneaking out of the house early in the morning without saying goodbye to some of the people i've come to really like. I'll just die if anything goes wrong with my plans!
The New York City Ballet is in town for the week and I think that's pretty hilarious.
The rest of the entry from later that night.
March 15th... This place is making me crazy! These poeple are making me crazy!
1. I gave Nando $17 worth of fabric to make me a pair of pants to wear home. He tells Marcos he can't do it until next week, until i insist that i need them by Sunday and then he says he'll try.
2. We all gave our tourist cards to some man for him to renew. I can't get out of the country without it and we haven't seen hide nor hair of him for days.
3. There are a few pictures of the show i'd really like copies of but Edwin keeps saying "Tomorrow."
"Mañana!" It's the only word anyone knows around here!
March 16th... I walked into the restaurant last night and was stunned by a certain group of people sitting at the table across from where i usually sit. And in particular by one tall, blond, nordic looking man. Moments later i discovered that certain man was none other than Peter Martins from The New York City Ballet. I don't know who the others were but during the evening Violette Verdy walked in and it just struck me as very odd that they would even be sitting there.
Today Eddie and i went exploring. Had coffee at Lina's, found out at the National Theatre that there is a matinee on Saturday and discovered that the company was staying at the Hispanola. So we spent the afternoon sunning there. They are so stand-off-ish but maybe it's just because they feel they have to cling to each other in this strange country. Suzanne Farrell in a bathing suit! I recognized a lot of people and it was so interesting to see them in their natural surroundings. Ha, i didn't mean it that way exactly.. because they didn't look even a BIT natural in those surroundings...
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