But First, D R N...

I'm not even really sure how to define this relationship (friendship?) that spanned those seven years from 1973 to 1980 and in some ways even beyond.

I remember talking to him on the phone one day, shortly after splitting from Brad and asking how he thought it was that WE were still able to remain such good friends, even after all that had transpired. And he answered me in a way that didn't really make sense, but it sort of does now. He said that it was because we had never totally crossed that fine line of no return. And I guess that's the truth. There'd never been any major committments or promises made and how could you ever fault someone for simply being a co-conspiritor to your fantasies? But still, at the time I think that his saying that must have hurt a little bit.

In 1977 I was living in his apartment in New York City with my friend Todd (D was again on the road)... when Todd told me that he thought it would make a really great story if I could publish all the letters that Doug and I had written back and forth to each other over the years... sort of in the vein of "Your Isadora."

You laugh..

And still, to this day, I think they would make for a really great story! But I have only so much blog space... so if you're interested in ever reading them, they're in this transparent file folder in the third drawer down in the antique file cabinet. And I don't think there's anything in there that I wouldn't want my children or grandchildren to read, which in a way sort of makes me feel really happy yet sort of sad at the same time. But still, amazing and poetic!... and if I were to slip any one of those postcards or letters out from that perfectly preserved shroud right now in order to read them, I'd probably most assuredly shed at least a tear or two.

Here's just a sample:

Front of card

Back of card

And ok, I lied. I just read a couple more of them and they are not all entirely G-rated. But this one is probably still ok...

Card

Insert

Always perfect...

Mercifully, I don't have the time to read the rest of them because there are literally thousands! So instead, I'll just enjoy this little pictorial journey and for a moment try to remember the way things actually were as opposed to the way I probably only imagined them being at the time...

Please exuse this little mini (moon)-trip...

Anyway, I think I can honestly say that he probably ranks at least #2 on the list of men I've been smitten with in my lifetime. :) Or maybe even #1, if only because of his love of letter writing... And also, he cried like a baby and mine and Brad's wedding, so I'll give him a couple of points for that as well.

Always Love... Forever... I Love You... Your Douglas...

Loved that. And if it's written down, well, it has to be true, right?

Ok, searching frantically now for that one letter he wrote that said something to the effect of "With enough trust, a relationship can last a lifetime." But like I said, there would be at least a thousand to sort through in order to find the exact one and I can't really remember if he wrote it towards the beginning or more towards the end.

But anyway, on THIS your 64th Birthday, A Very Happy Birthday to You D!

(Even though, I can't make sense of how that could even be possible.)

Still, this picture makes me smile bigger than you can even imagine...

Miss you.

And guess I'll just wait to hear plans for our next "rendevouz" via USPS then.

Because this Facebook thing just doesn't seem to be working out for us very well...

:)