As much as I wanted to act, sing and dance as a child I still spent most of my early teen years pretty much lying on the sofa in my basement dreaming about it. And though I'd had some semi-decent dance recital experiences, my first year in high school drama class was a complete and utter disaster.
My assignments were total failures... not because they were terrible or anything, but because I didn't do any of them. I was paralyzed with fear about getting up in front of people! My drama teacher, Mrs. Bradbury, would later tell me that the only thing she ever remembered coming out of my mouth was "I'm not ready." Until the lipsynch assignment of course... which I practiced it in front of the mirror for at least a week beforehand.
I'll never, ever forget that day. Even now it remains the single most important dividing line between my eventual doing or continual dreaming.
I think all my memories are still intact, but since we do sometimes tend to overly embelish the past I thought I'd just do the rest of this straight from my old journal.
October 3, 1969
I shook all the way there, but I made it to Drama class. I wanted to do my song right away to get it over with. Ya know, every time I do anything in front of the class I just kind of blend into the wall. Nobody knows that I can do anything good.
I was so scared that Mrs. Bradbury would be bored with me. And after that speech by Michelle about how I could do "I'm The Greatest Star" SO good! That sure would be embarrassing! Anyway, I had to sit throught 5 songs, twiddling my thumbs. I didn't think I could stand it!
Finally, Michelle pointed to me and so Mrs. B. called on me next. I was terrified because all the other lip synchs that day had been SO good.
I started out the song a little tense and really hot from the spotlight on me. But then I just calmed down and just felt the part. Believe me, I felt the part! I almost cried and gave lots and lots of expressive emotion with my face and arms. I don't think I could ever do it that good again.
When it was over I heard a louder applause than I've ever heard in my life. I'm not kidding.. it went straight through me! I went to sit down and I could hear everyone whispering. Then I heard Mrs. B. saying, in the most surprised voice, "Jannet, that was great!" I said thank you and then went to retrieve my record before sitting down. Shaking. Every one shut up and then I heard Mrs. B's voice again saying, "Well, who wants to follow that?" Nobody said anything.
About a minute before class was over Mrs. B. came over to me and said, "That was excellent, and I want you to do it for 4th and 6th period on Monday. I never knew you had it, and just think all last year you were wasted! I could just kill you!"
And as I left the room she said one more thing to me.. "I couldn't believe it! I just sat there with my mouth open!"
I came home and laughed and cried and danced and sang and everything else...
Unfortunately, this was back in the day, way before video cameras and YouTube.. so you'll just have to use your best imagination...
Gosh I love her!
A Senior Yearbook comment from B.J.Bradbury...
SO many dreams ahead!
2 comments:
Thats a really awesome story, and I LOVED reading an entry from your diary! I'd love to hear more :) haha...maybe someday. And maybe you could also perform that song for me when you come.
Thanks Whit! That day probably ranks up there as one of the top favorites of my teenage years. The jury is still out on what I will plan to do with all my diaries before anyone ever gets their hands on them. Trust me! As for performing the song for you? Well, I just tried doing it and again, trust me... some things are just better left remembered. haha
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