My First "Girl Crush"...

It's Saturday Night! And at least seventy Saturday nights since I last posted, I know!... but I've been kind of busy. And I guess I just wasn't sure what else to add to my "memoirs." I mean, you've already learned about my family... and all my very first memories. The next several years were just pretty much well,... embarrassing.

But I guess now seems like just as good a time as any to jump in and tell you this little story...

In 1967 my family moved me from being a big fish in a little pond (La Puente, California) to being a very little fish (though already 5'7" with a fairly big nose) to a much bigger pond (Hacienda Heights), and, being only 13 at the time, I really didn't really handle it very well.

I had just recently seen a production of "The Diary of Anne Frank" at my big sister's High School and so immediately, upon moving into our new home, found the perfect spot (under the staircase) where I could lock myself in for hours at a time to write in my "journal," pretty much only coming out for school, mealtimes, or to watch my favorite TV program "The Patty Duke Show."

Remember it?

*sigh*

It was already in syndication by that time so, depending on the night, we'd get different versions of the show's opener. Here's one of the earlier versions...


But enough of that...

And then she began appearing on all these variety shows. So many in fact that I could hardly keep track, given that we only had this one little printed version of the TV guide that we had to actually go to the grocery store and purchase each week. But I loved this performance!



Anyway, I suppose my real downward spiral and decline began very innocently one night while attending some family friendly movie at the local Eastland Theater. I was simply out there in the lobby buying either popcorn or one of those 15 cents (at the time) packages of "Charms," when I happened upon this poster of upcoming attractions...



Ok, so who's to say that posters like this shouldn't be allowed to be displayed in the lobby during the normal "family friendly" movie nights? But bingo! It hooked me.

I'm not sure exactly what happened after that. I can only assume now that, at the time, I realized it was actually possible for a dorky, gangly little girl to still have a chance of blossoming into a mature, sexy, pill-popping, slut. Though I don't really think those were the actual adjectives that were running through my mind at the time. I just suddenly wanted to BE her... or at least know that there was a chance I'd ever be able to escape my boring little world. Because I really DID want to become an actress... eventually. In fact, during that very same time I remember standing in my backyard at night and looking down over the lights of my little town thinking... "Someday they'll ALL know who I am!" Haha, as if the lights of Hacienda Heights was "the world."

But so, the very next week, I BEGGED my mom to take me to see "Jungle Book" at that same theater... secretly hoping that they'd show previews of the upcoming attractions. Little did I know that even back then they typically gear the previews to the general demographics in attendance... And so anyway, by the way, I hated "Jungle Book."

But I somehow eventually snuck into the movie illegally anyway and it was AWESOME!





(Watching it 30 years later though, not so much...)

Memories get a little mixed up here, but I think it was shortly after that that I changed my journal entries from "Dear Diary.." to "Dear Patty.." Yeah, I know. But hey, I was still only 13. I wrote to her every day, religiously. I still have them. Every single entry, of which I will most likely burn shortly before I die... : ) And I bought and clipped out every single thing I could find about her from "Teen Beat" etc... as if it were all spot on true... and made the most amazing scrapbook! Followed everything about her for years! Ask mom.

And then somehow I ended up with mononucleoses during my 15th year which confined me to bed-rest for about 2 months. My grandma was there to bring up my meals during the day... I had a tutor from school come in once or twice a week... and of course the best thing about the whole thing was that I got a TV moved into my room! My mom even surprised me one day with this little gift to keep me company!



Which included a bunch of golden oldies...

Say Something Funny

Funny Little Butterflies

And the all time Shindig favorite...Please Don't Just Stand There

But still! I wore that thing out!

And then, well, after being confined to bed for a month or so I remember not being able to sleep at all one night, and so I most innocently stumbled into my parents bathroom, and into their medicine cabinet. It really didn't seem like such a bad thing to do at the time. I mean, wasn't that what Neely O'Hara did whenever she wanted to get some shut-eye? Turned out to be not such a great idea though. Oh I lived alright! But only after an emergency trip to the hospital. It also cost my parents a couple of sleepless nights of their own. I was a pretty dumb kid back then...

But I don't think it was until the evening I watched the Golden Globe Awards in 1970 that I even realized something might be wrong with her. And even then, I still thought she was so beautiful and went right back afterwards to my journal and wrote... "Awww, are you ok??? Call me... !" As if. I just love how completely innocent I was at the time. This video is quite telling and I'm sure much more complicated than I made it out to be at the time.


And yes, that was Desi Arnaz Jr. sitting beside her...

But as with all phases... they eventually pass. And by 1971 I'd pretty much changed by journal entry benefactress to "Barbra"... which I guess will now probably be the NEXT story I'll have to write...

It would still be years before she'd be officially diagnosed with bi-polar and would eventually become a major spokesperson for the disease. What an amazing life she's had! Long time President of the Screen actors Guild, mother and grandmother of many... and a happy wife (who now lives in Idaho!) There is just so much more I could say about her!

There are so many wonderful videos out there on YouTube but I really like this interview with Ernie Manhouse that I recently found.

One of the best autobiographies I've ever read!

Call Me Anna

Anyway... to finish off this post.

GoGo Bewts!...


...verses Social Security...


Gotta love it!