Santo Domingo... Segunda Parte (Part Two)

Journal Entry (excerpts) from January 22nd... The funniest thing of my life happened last night. I came back to my room early and was getting ready for bed when Judy burst into the room saying there was a girl in the bar with $1,000 who wanted my room number for some Dominican man who wanted to sleep with me for the money. Can you imagine? I could have retired!!!

:)

Had a nice day today in town and at Plaza Naco shopping with Steve. Picked up a few things but still no clothes and Doug'll be here in one week! Then had the best ice cream i've had in ages. Always so nice to get away from the Jaragua!

January 24th... I can't live in a pigsty for one more day! I didn't realize how lucky i was to have Lorna for a roomate!... I can rarely find one square inch of available space. Towels on the floor, bathmat in a lump, shit all over the floor, sink and toilet top. Baby powder on the floor, clothes on the floor. She makes it so I have no room at all to put my things. Tonight i finally went crazy and redecorated making myself a little sitting corner similiar to the one at Longacre. It's very clearly mine and i'd best not find any shit on it! I think the truth is that Doug, Lois and I are probably the only people in the world who know how to keep a clean house.

I've had a very unusual day. Pantojas, Roberto, Cathy, Bob and I left for Puerto Plata last night after the show. It was a beautiful drive and after stopping for breakfast finally made it there by 11:00 am. It was freezing! So we had lunch and drove to the beach and it started pouring! So what else was there to do but turn around and come home? I've never been so tired in my life. We drove over 500 miles since last night! Got home at 5:00, went straight to bed and didn't get up until 10:00. Had dinner, messed around, and now i'm ready to hit the sack again.

January 26th... The most depressing thing that could have happened to me ~ happened. Doug's not coming! For the first time ever, i hated seeing his letter in my mailbox. I knew before i opened it that something was wrong and i felt sick all the way up to my room even before i read it. He said that he'd rather come at the end of my contract so that we could spend some time touring around when i don't have to be back for work. That sounds lovely, but i need him now! More than i've ever needed him in my life. I thought about it all day and finally decided to call him but either he wasn't home or the operator wasn't. It was the hardest show i've had to do cause i only had one thing on my mind. I finally reached himat 2 am. What miracles just one little telephone call can do. I felt so warm and happy just hearing his voice that i could have talked to him forever. Gus (Solomon's) is in town and now he has to rehearse with Paul (Sanasardo). But he'll be down in a few weeks so i guess i can hold out till then. He told me he loved me a lot!

Went to sleep to the sounds of f*cking in the next room.

January 30th... I got violently ill during the show Thursday night and had to leave half way through. I suppose i should get use to it since i'll probably get food poisoning at least three more times while i'm here. I think i've been sick more in the past month than in the previous 10 years of my life. Too bad that with the nausea also comes the depression and unhealthy mental feelings. I was in bed all Friday and Friday night and I cried so hard wanting my mother. I really miss her so much. There is so much changing in all of our lifes and it scares me so much to think that i'll never have things as they were again. The thought of my mother becoming Mrs. Lois Salisbury within the week gave me such feelings of abandonment. I'm growing up and i don't know that i want to. I don't feel any older than i did in highschool and yet everyone expects me to act like i'm 22. I wish someone would tell me that i couldn't do something, or that i had to be in by 12 o'clock.

I miss everyone so much and i really don't think i can stand it here for two more months! My mind is disintigrating and i don't know what i want anymore.

February 4th... I could probably go for at least a month without writing and still be able to make up for lost time with one entry.

I'm determined to get a tan! It's so painful to lay in that scorching sun... But i want to have a lot of color when Doug gets here. The only thing that is keeping me same is the fact that he is still coming. Everything i do or see is related to how it'll be when he's here to share it. If he'd come on the 29th like he'd planned to he'd be gone by now!

I don't know what's happened to me. I use to love becoming involved with a show and a group of people for months at a time. All the scandals and being a part of them... Now, i'm just sickened by it all. All the talk and everything that's going on... I havn't the least desire to become involved with all the sex and the drugs and I feel so sorry for most of these people. I have the least respect of all for Judy. She seems to think that her life is downhill from here but makes a joke out of it at the same time. How i wish i had someone here who could invigorate or inspire me. I count the weeks till i can spend April in Cali with my friends and get back to knowing what i want in life. I really do like Cathy. She's an ok girl most of the time, when she's not with the others. Why we're not roomates is beyond me. Judy and I are extreme opposites!

I fell apart in my ballet class yesterday. Not good. I need to get back on the right track.

February 6th... I need to see Doug! How many times can i say that? Not enough. I need to see him quickly before my personality completely deteriorates. I need him to revitalize me! Living here in everyone's coldness, thinking of him gives me the warmest feelings. I need him here now to help me rid myself of all the ugly feelings i have towards everyone. I need to rediscover who i am and how i really like being who i am, because i don't like me right now. These people have done something to rid me of my self worth and i don't know how to combat it. I think i've tried and yet i'm not sure. When i left the dressing room tonight i said that getting out of there was probably the best think i could do. And so it was.

February 10th... The hammering began at 8 this morning and hasn't stopped yet. Sometimes i think the repairs on this hotel will never end. Now there is no water...

I know i'm going crazy. each day the wait seems longer before i'll be able to see Californina and the friends i love again. My only salvation, Cathy, will be leaving at the end of the month, along with all the acts. I wonder what will happen to the show. Hector could pull some real shit on us, and i wouldn't put anything past him. Judy had her birthday yesterday and I bought her a bottle of rum and made a card with a poem i wrote for her and had everyone sign it. I think it may have helped our relationship a bit. As long as it gets me through the next month and a half!

February 13th... At last alone, a chance to write. I'm in the dressing room and the American girls are gone. The Spanish girls are all yacking away, and though twice as annoying, not half as maddening.

They're moving us out to a little bungalow behind the hotel, where they burn the trash. Charming, cozy little rooms, half the size of the one's we have now and with a lovely view of the construction yard next door. What Judy will do with all of her shit is beyond me. I almost flipped out last night thinking about it. Sharing a house with 12 othe people, partial hot water with electric shocks in the taps. It's only for a week then they'll move us back to the hotel but on the other side of the hall with virtually no windows. What does it matter? Hell is hell no matter where you're sleeping.

I get pains thinking of home and how heavenly it will be for a while. Why don't i ever realize how good i have it when i have it good? Haven't heard from Douglas yet...

February 16th... Well, my mother always told me i had missed out by not going away to college and experiencing dormatory life, but I don't think that this is quite what she had in mind. Thirteen people living under one roof with a least one or two extras every night... Sharing three bathrooms, one living room and a kitchen. Actually, i don't mind it as much as i thought i would. There is a real sense of freedom being able to wander from room to room. I was becoming extremely claustrophic in that hotel room. I wouldn't mind staying here the rest of the time except that everyone keeps such late hours and no matter what time i get to bed i can't get to sleep until everyone else does. I don't understand people who have no consideration. I could never, ever bring myself to just turn on a light when someone else was sleeping. I wish someone "else" felt the same way.

Aside from that... Rover the Rooster perches himself right outside my window every morning at 6 am and lets everyone know he's awake. We're also living with a dog and two parrots. Then there's the alarm clock Judy bought that ticks loudly all night and can only be drowned out by the air conditioner. But Judy turns that off...

February 17th... Today started off with a letter from Douglas. Very cold and to the point. What point, I'm not certain. He said there is still no end in sight for rehearsals with Paul and then to quote him, "Be a good girl and if you come home rich, I'll know where you got your money. No moral judgement here, just amazed at the high price of love these days." Fin

I mean, i HAD mentioned the $1,000 proposition to him but thought I'd made it clear that i was not in the market. I've tried reading between the lines and still can't come up with a meaning. I guess i just don't know him well enough, or he doesn't know ME well enough. If i could have him here with me for 5 days i think we could learn the world about each other. As it is, i don't even know if he's coming... or if we'll just soon be back to those every other week "rendezvous" in N.Y.

The rest of the day was just your normal, aggrivating, anxious day but the show was interesting. Marcos Canestrelli hurt his neck during the act and there was a big to-do about it on stage. Then Jose Lacay flipped his can when an announcement was made during his show asking if there was a doctor in the house... Such dramatics!

February 20th... The Canestrelli's leave tomorrow ~ one of the best things in the show. I felt sad watching the trampoline being taken apart out in the street. I think i'll really miss little Alessio, i've become so attached to him. I'll wonder what that little face is doing years from now. I'll probably see his picture somewhere some day, all grown up and it'll touch me in a special way. I wanted a picture of him so badly but i had no film and the store was closed today. He is probably one of the few things from this show that'll i'll remember.

Judy hasn't said a word to me in over a day and a half and so I've been holding several conversations with myself. It's obvious she's not interested and it truly doesn't hurt my feelings a bit. A silly thing.. but in the dressing room tonight, she offered everyone a piece of candy except me. I think i'm going to get my own room as i'm staying in the house and i think she's moving back to the hotel.

February 21st... Well at least i'm free, for whatever it's worth! It's gonna take some getting use to being alone all the time. All the PR's are still in the house but i don't have much to say to them except for Marcos and Eddie who are really, really sweet. I just hope i don't end up getting left out of everything entirely. Still, the thought of no one coming into my room except me excites me terribly! I rearranged the room so that now i have a little reading area and a huge king size bed (just for me?) Kathe also gave me her refrigerator so now i really don't have to mingle with anyone at all unless i want to. I guess i've learned just how much my privacy means to me.

Marcos and Ed Vachon

Alone at last!

Santo Domingo... Primera Parte (Part One)

Wow, this is really tough. I've had writing this chapter on my Saturday "to-do" list for nearly two months now and I just can't seem to get it together. Not for lack of trying or wanting to, but just because of having no earthly idea where to start. This experience for me was just so complex, meaning both incredibly wonderful and horrible at the same time, and trying to approach this 40 year old memory with any sort of truthful narrative just seems like such a daunting task.

Thankfully there are both (major snips of) journals and pictures, so I've come to terms here that THAT'S probably the only way I'm going to get this one done.

So to start...

7 Americanos Headed For Paraíso...

Journal Entry (excerpts) from December 16th... I'm sitting on my little balcony alcove in the 90 degree sun looking out over the hotel grounds, the olympic size pool and the Caribbean Ocean framed by palm trees. It's not at all as i'd pictured it, with Americans sprawled all over the sand drinking their afternoon rum & cokes. In fact i don't believe there is anyone on the beach at all. I don't think there even is a beach, and the water isn't swimmable at any rate, the waves are as high as buildings.

I don't believe i'm here after a 6 hour wait at the airport yesterday and every kind of inconvenience you could imagine. I won't go into it all but i never want to go through customs again. But we stepped off the plane at midnight and it hit me. HEAT! Beautiful, warm & tropical. It was like coming out of a time tunnel after that New York freeze. The taxi ride, once se found a cab, was beautiful. I couldn't see much, but the road from the airport is all lined with flowers and palm trees for miles and miles. We drove with all the windows down and just felt that lovely warm breeze on our faces and breathed it all in.

Everything is so awkward here, we stick out like sore thumbs. No one understands us. "No comprende!" I'll be learning a lot of Spanish in a very short time, which kind of excites me. I'm rooming with Judy. She seems to be a nice girl...

Missing Douglas already. Why is it that things always seem to heat up right when one of us is about to leave.

December 17th... We've had sort of an interesting and relaxing day just walking around and checking things out. We walked into town today to change our money and get stamps. It feels kind of like being in Spain or something, not that i would know. The people here seem nice for the most part but the men on the streets are worse than in New York. We're having dinner with Hector tonight and then seeing the show. So nice to go out and not worry about money.

The filet mignon was delicious! The show was dreadful! But it's a guest show so i don't think it has anything to do with ours. Just a bunch of bare bottomed girls who barely know how to walk. But the pre-show with the three very talented guys from Argentina was terrific!

December 18th... Well, i drank the water!!! I went down to eat last night and suddenly couldn't think of putting another thing in my mouth. I came back up to my room where i immediately tossed my afternoon onion soup and the bread and 7-up i'd had so far for dinner. Deathly ill all night! I laid flat on my back (except for getting up every 10 minutes) for 6 hours. And to make matters worse, there was some party going on out on the pool deck and the sound of bongo's, guitars and cuban singers went on all night and could have been heard for miles. I had to turn on the air conditioning and freeze to death in order to drown them out.

I finally made it down to rehearsal today at 3:00 but basically just watched or walked through the numbers. Feeling better but my stomach muscles are in agony and I'm starving to death. Dying to hear some American music!

December 20th... One thing I can say is that the views here are beautiful. Sometimes it's hard to believe that I'm sitting here looking out over the Caribbean. This morning I walked across the highway to see the ocean up close and they were right - it's just cliffs.

We had a long rehearsal yesterday. Learned a new number and reviewed the others. They are so tacky! It'll be an experience doing this kind of thing. Then we spent last evening in Laura and Cathy's room listening to Barry Manilow, Barbra and Donna Summers. It was lovely! Then i went to bed while everyone else went out dancing. I just can't get into it. Maybe boredom will eventually force me to, but for now cruising is not for me.

Hector gave us the day off so it was wonderful to lay in the sun all day. We had a tropical rain in the afternoon. So refreshing!

December 22nd... Oh God, i'm gonna go stir crazy! We all are! We've only been here one week and have thirteen more to go. Ay! There's nothing to do here! I know i'm going to go absolutely koo-koo! Eating is the only thing there is to look forward to. Maybe it'll be different after the show starts. We'll be able to soak up sun all day, or go away somewhere, shop, or maybe take classes. But I hate rehearsals and I hate the numbers. I know i should just be happy and enjoy it and take it for what it is. It's not like i'm spending a whole summer here. I'm not! If I were in N.Y. i'd just be freezing and miserable and waiting for the stock auditions to come out in March. So, i'll be home in March! But in the meantime I'm going to have to find things to do!

We all went out with a real creep last night. I think we just went for the free meal. I stuffed myself! Then he took us to this really interesting place called "The Cave" but we didn't stay long. Still, it was a fascinating place, built entirely underground. Before we went in he took a gun out of the car and asked me to put it in my purse. What a fool! It's crazy what some men will do to impress!

December 24th... The sun is going down on Christmas Even and i'm feeling about as far away from the Xmas spirit as i possibly can. There's something very odd about sitting here in my jocky shorts watching the sun go down over the ocean and hearing people still at the pool when miles away people are sitting around their Christmas trees singing Carols and watching the snow fall outside.

We finished up the Carmen Miranda number today. It's so corny, but the most fun number we do. The whole show is tacky! Thank God none of my friends will ever see it!

December 31st... Three hours until 1977. This year, more than any other i feel sad. I wonder what i'll be doing at 12 o'clock? This has probably been one of the best years of my life. When i think about it i certainly did do a lot! But the fact that all my work and training have somehow led me here, makes me feel like i've failed. But it'll all be over in three months and i'll have money, and a tan and i will have learned a lesson. Not happy with myself dressing this way, going out in front of 700 people a night with very little left to the imagination. To say nothing of running around backstage with NOTHING on at all!

The last few days have been Hell and I've spent most of my time crying. There has been such a strain on everyone trying to get this show together and I'm STILL missing costumes. I've complained so much, but only because nobody will listen. I feel like when i talk, i'm talking to myself. I don't fit in here. I don't think too many people here like me and in turn i don't like too many. Hector de SJ is an ass-hole! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Journal Entry from January 1st 1977... I feel so lonely and this place is too beautiful to feel this way. I need Doug here to share these beautiful sunrises & sunsets with. You don't realize how very special those few people in your life mean to you until you don't have them there and try to make someone else fill the void. I've only been here three days into my three month contract!

Spent New Year's eve sitting in the lobby between shows. Then Laura's friend Charlie and his friend picked a few of us up and took us to a country club up in the hills. Just like out of a movie, driving up the palm lined path to the valet... From there we drove out to Boca Chica and spent the rest of the night on a boat in port. I still don't know who it belonged to.

Only wished I could have been alone to enjoy the beauty of the sunrise on the new year...

But what a sight it was when the sun came up (HOT) with the music still blaring and the remains of the night before strewn all over the dock. And the gorgeous scene of the sun on the water.

I took a drive with Jose and ended up stopping at the home of a friend of his. One of the most beautiful views i've ever seen. A pool on a cliff overlookiing a background of early morning sky, ocean(BLUE) and endless greenery. I was overwhelmed! 8 0'clock in the morning and there must have been 20 people there looking as fresh and awake as ever. I guess all these people do down here is sit out in their backyards drinking cocktails & looking at the views. Got back just as everyone was leaving to back to the hotel. I told them i wanted to go with them but they just asked for the key to the room and took off. I felt shitty having to make Charlie and Jose drive me home but the drive along the coast was breathtaking. One of the most beautiful sights i've seen since i've been here.

January 6th... We all went to Antonio Pantojas' opening last night. Laura and i ended up going off with Charlie and Jose to smoke some weed and then it was hell trying to get rid of them. Got my first week's pay today but ended up having to give back $40 in american dollars for my bills. Gonna pay as I go along from now on, otherwise I'm getting screwed. They screwed us as well the other night when they kept us up until 7 am without notice filming a silly 60 second commercial.

The unprofessionalism of this show is driving me (Carmen Miranda) bananas! I've never seen such backstage chaos in my life! Missing props, wrong certain cues, no lights, 1,000 people in the wings when you're trying to exit!... I feel like screaming every night!

January 11th... I wrote a letter to Thom today saying that i couldn't conceive of the time that Douglas wouldn't be there, somewhere. I wish i could think realistically about a future with him. I can only think about today. And if he were here that would be enough. Today will ALWAYS be a yesterday and a tommorrow.

I can't stand doing this show, although i AM getting along with everyone better. Either that or just not caring. I dread the 11 weeks ahead! I finally took a ballet class today. It was ok. More than I expected. My body needed it. My head needed it more!

I don't feel like writing to Doug but I know I have to.

January 16th... I just took a nice nap after being in the sun all day and I feel surprisingly well! No sign of the shits or nausea or even any depression at the moment. I was so sick Friday night i thought i'd die and I just wanted to go home (to Cali) more than anything in the world! I feel like that more and more these days.. how i'd like to just sleep in my own bed, knowing that my mother was in the next room.

Doug is coming down on the 29th of this month! I nearly fell into the pool when I read his letter! Now my nerves are gonna make me sicker than ever! I want so much for him to enjoy this place and theres so much to think about before he comes because I just want everything to be perfect! I only wish he didn't have to see the show! The other girls keep telling me that if he loves me, it won't make any difference to him what the show is like...

Judy thinks she might have caught crabs from Charlie. :)

We're going for pizza tonight! At last i have an appetite thinking of getting out of this hotel! Some guy here just gave me a Joni Mitchell tape!!!

P.S. Ended up going for pizza alone. :(

January 19th... I had a wonderful time with Pantojas last night! I think i love him and as our friendship grows i think i'll find myself missing him alot when I leave.

Also had the most incredible day yet on Monday! Went off with Pantojas, his friend Roberto and a few others to spend the day driving along the ocean... drinking and sunning. It was perfect! The Carribean is gorgeous to swim in and we found some beautiful spots that i can't wait to share with Douglas.

Laura, Kathy and Me

Kathy, Me and Pantojas

Miles from here found a hotel with a patio set out on the sand. The most peacful and beautiful spot. Sitting under umbrellas, sipping our drinks, we looked like a mirage for some poor sailor washed ashore.

The whole day invigorated me to such an extent. I could possibly come to love this place. With Doug it WILL be paradise!

January 20th... Last night was incredible! Roberto and his friends took a few of us up to this cabin in the hills to party. No lights at all so we just partied by fire and candlelight. So nice! I felt high before i got high! We sang to guitars, played games and watched Pantojas perform. Loved the lizards crawling up the walls and the frog in the bathroom. Laughed so hard all night i thought my sides would split!

We drove home after the sun had come up. The beautiful drives here can't be compared. Saw all the natives beginning their day and going about their chores. Then the sight of the new sun on the water was breathtaking. Had breakfast when we got back and got to bed by 9:00 am. Don't know how i got up at noon.

Got lots of mail today. Doug says he's comin' to the rescue!

Paying My Dues...

Can you imagine learning how to eat on a dollar a day and then suddenly being given a per diem check to the tune of $72 to last you a mere four? And that was just for food!.. All our other expenses... hotel, transportation, everything... paid for! I was actually tempted to save it in order to have my meals already taken care of for the next few months! And that pretty much worked out too, since they ended up feeding us nearly every single night in the way of... dinners, receptions, cocktail parties, etc. You have no idea how quickly one can become hooked... being compensated like that just for doing something you love!

So the entire gig lasted (like I said) four days, with a day or so of rehearsals in New York beforehand. It was basically a big ole' shout-out to New York City presented by The New York Telephone Company. We flew to Pittsburg on Allegheny Airlines, stayed at the Hyatt House and performed at the beautiful Heinz Hall. I remember wearing silver hotpants, a sequined vest and a top hat, doing a kickline or two in Rockette fashion, and pushing a huge oversized postcard of New York City around the stage.

But beyond that, I don't really remember much of anything... except for being paid an insane amount of money (for me anyway) for four days work, feeling like I definitely fit in, even though I was the only non-Equity dancer in the group, and feeling guilty sleeping in that amazing hotel room *"when there were people in China sleeping on the ground."

^^This is the only photo I have from that job...

Journal Entry from November 2nd... Flying home to New York! That feels so funny to me. There's no one on the plane, it's daylight outside and miles of clouds below. It's probably snowing in N.Y. It's absolutely gorgeous out there. I feel like I'm flying into heaven. I love flying!... and riding buses and trains... and hotel rooms.

I was thinking today how quickly i've grown up. I remember feeling so awful once when Carol and a friend were going to a drive-in movie and i couldn't go because i wasn't old enough. And then suddenly i'm riding through the county somewhere in Pennsylvania and now flying above it, and except for the card that probably hasn't reached her yet, my mother really has little idea of where I am.

And two days later...

Journal Entry from November 4th... Life is so strange! I remember only a year ago reading "Dance is a Contact Sport"a story about the New York City Ballet, and dreaming of dancing at the State Theatre. In my imagination, i knew every inch of this place. And here i am! It's not exactly as i'd pictured it, and i'm not dancing, but I AM on stage, and it feels good and it beats sitting in my room any day! Hey, I just realized that tonight marks my debut on the N.Y. stage. I made it! haha!

It is now intermission - One more scene to go. $7.50 baby!

As a supernumerary in "Rigoletto" with The New York City Opera...

And I suppose I could just go on submitting journal quote after journal quote in order to sum up a more complete vision of what was going on with me (and in my head) at this time. Looking back? Wow... I guess it all (possibly) sounds pretty cool. But at the moment, it was just a very difficult time in my life.

Ok, just one more...

Journal Entry from November 6th... Got so homesick today. What's new? Called mom and decided on coming home for a week at Christmas. I don't have a clue as to how i'll pay for it, but my mind is made up. The hardest thing i'll ever do will be to come back after a week in my own bed and my marvelous, beautiful house... and car... and friends.. and everything else I love so much.

But back to the present (or well, you know what I mean)...

A couple of other things that happened during those last few weeks of Fall:

• I continued taking dance classes just trying SO HARD TO GET BETTER.
• Continued seeing Doug whenever I could (or at least whenever he was in town), in what I can now clearly see as being a state of never-ending "smitten addiction."
• Thom came to visit and we had a ball of course, because it was Thom. And with Thom I could ALWAYS be myself. In fact, so much myself that I almost got permanently booted out of the Longacre House for bringing a "gentleman caller" up to my room. Because in 1976, as much as things may have progressed... at the Longacre House in New York City?... T'was STILL not proper!
• During his same visit we got lost on a subway train one night and ended up in Harlem... after smoking a little weed I confess. Talk about paranoia!!! But we ended up making it to the Alex's surprise birthday party pretty much unscathed. (Alex had been our Stage Manager for the New York Telephone industrial show...)

  

• Performed the New York Telephone Show several times at the New York Hilton, with one of the replacement dancers being Gail Benedict... who coincidentally had nearly blown me away in "Pal Joey" just a couple of months earlier.

• Spent Thanksgiving with the Browns in Philadelphia. (Perhaps you remember them? Montez had been my childhood babysitter in Cali for years, Dave had been a surrogate father and the one who baptized me, and her daughters Vanet and Sue had been my best friends. But of course with the girls being away at college out West it was just me, pretending to be their daughter for the weekend. I think I spent the whole time sleeping on the couch in front of the fireplace...

• And then there was that little issue of an Equity Card... it's been so many years that I truly don't remember all the rules and regulations, but at the time I think I was quite well aware of them. Joining the Union cost a bit of money however, an amount which I didn't have at the time, and I only had a certain amount of time after doing a union show to be able to join, without having to go back and be considered non-union again. So it was a rather small window of opportunity. And so Doug stepped in and offered to loan me the money to join! And I honestly DO think I eventually paid him back. Hope so! But anyway, what a beautiful thing it was to finally be able to carry this around in my wallet!

  My First Actor's Equity Card! Please excuse the doctoring...

And then?...

Well... I did what ANY card carrying Actors Equity member should (probably NOT) do. I auditioned for a Night Club show headed to Santa Domingo in the Dominican Republic with a six month contract... and Got It!

So, I got Gail to keep my wicker table, Lesley to keep my plants, Doug took all my bedstuff, my bamboo shade and the TV, while Ms. Rowan agreed to keep a couple boxes of my stuff downstairs in the Longacre basement for just $15 a month.

And on December 15th (exactly 4 years from the day that I would wake up with a new last name) I flew off to the Dominican Republic on an airline who's name I had never before heard of... and landed safely in Paradise.

A Confession...

So, on a drizzly Sunday afternoon in late October of 1976, I did one of the most horrible things I have ever done in my life. In fact, it still haunts me to this day.

I was walking from the Longacre to the Plymouth Theatre to "second act" Godspell when I came across three tickets to Pippin just lying there on the sidewalk (in the rain) outside the Imperial Theatre. So I took them up to the box office to tell them I had found them, turn them in?.. whatever. But all the man at the ticket window would do was to tell me that three girls had purchased them a few minutes ago and that I should probably just check around out front.

So I stood out there in front of the theatre (for what must have been at least 10 minutes) half hoping those three girls would show up, while at the same time half wondering what I might be able to do with the tickets if they didn't...

So naturally, when a scalper came up and asked how many tickets I wanted to sell, of course I said... "Three?"... And then when he asked me if I'd take $5 a piece for them, which I quickly figured out to be fifteen dollars and more money than I had held in my hand in ages!.. of course I said... "Ok."

And then, wouldn't you know it... no more than ten seconds after "the transaction" had taken place, three young high school aged girls came running up to me, looking rather frantic, asking if I had found their tickets!.. and I looked at them as if I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about...

And since that day I have thought about that moment SO many times in my life, especially remembering how very, very shitty I felt afterwards! I've even told myself a million stories about how, even if I could have managed to find that scalper and tried to get those tickets back he probably wouldn't have sold them back to me. I also try telling myself that they were probably just a couple of really rich little girls from the suburbs... or maybe on a high school trip with lots of people looking out for them, and with lots of money from home in their pockets... and so surely they were able to grab a couple more tickets (to a show that hopefully wasn't sold out!) so that their day... or their trip of a lifetime wasn't completely ruined!

But nothing at all ever really helps ease the fact that I seriously did absolutely not a single thing at all to try to help... or fix it. I was only thinking of myself. And over the years that memory has never, EVER gone away, especially now, after having daughters and granddaughters of my own. (Because those girls were somebody's daughters and granddaughters!)

Granted, Broadway Show tickets were only around $20 at the time... and I was only, like, 22?.. But still.

Trust me, that fifteen dollars was definitely not, in ANY way, worth it!

So sad!

Waiting for The Dough...

So anyway, there I was all alone again, depressed and not to mention broke!..

Except that I forgot to tell you about the part where me and Melanie had landed hostessing jobs at the newly reopened Tavern On The Green during that very long month of waiting. Unfortunately (or I guess rather fortunately for her) she didn't have the chance to work there for very long...

From 1000 Things New York
Originally built in 1870 to house the sheep that grazed in Central Park’s Sheep Meadow, Tavern on the Green has served New Yorkers, tourists, presidents, royalty, artists and actors since 1934. Having gone through several additions and renovations, it became a New York place to be seen when Warner LeRoy acquired the lease in the 1970s. He poured $10 million into the Tavern, adding the legendary Crystal Room (seen in Ghostbusters and Arthur), stained glass, etched mirrors, 45 chandeliers along with 400,000 outdoor lights in the trees so that the Tavern always looked like it was Christmas in the Park.

LeRoy reopened the doors in 1976, and the new Tavern immediately became the most popular dining and banquet spot in the city. Flamboyantly lavish, the Tavern was a place for visitors and celebs who came to be dazzled by the glitter and extravaganza of LeRoy’s new Tavern on the Green. The waiters dressed in powder blue, the captains in tuxedos, you could dance the night away on the patio and you could arrive or depart in a horse drawn carriage at the entrance.

What a very funny job that was! And to this day it's rather hard for me to believe that I actually managed to hang onto it for a couple of months without completely losing it (literally and figuratively)! Because every single person in that entire city wanted to experience that place. And they ALL wanted to be seated in the Crystal Room!... and ALL at the very same time!

*Journal Entry from September 5th... I almost quit my job 10,000 times today! The whole afternoon was the picture of mass hysteria. Everyone yelling at me, telling me what a f*cked up place this is and I couldn't agree with them more! I'm so tired of getting it from both ends. I'm mobbed by the customer's questions and then when I try to be polite to them David tells me not to chat with the customers. What in the hell am I there for? So then I stand at the desk to seat people and he tells me I need to cue people at the door, so when I do that he yells "Jannet, I need someone here at all times to seat the guests!" I can't win! Guess I gotta stop taking it all so personally and just do it. There wasn't even a 5 minute lull today and I thought I'd absolutely die. I hate every minute of this!

But there were also couple of little perks that came along with it as well, like all those free lunches. And I got to go upstairs to the back office for a few minutes every day to copy the reservations list and sit down for a bit (and smoke!) And there were also times in between the lunch and dinner rushes where I could sometimes go out and sit on the patio and just breath in all that garden air along the beautiful Central Park vistas. And once Ted Hook invited me and a guest for a free lunch at Backstage in appreciation of my getting his group a table.

But I think one of the best memories that came out of that job (and one that I still have evidence of to this day) was the time that this gentleman came up to the hostess desk after his group was finished with lunch and asked me for my address so he could send me something. (Of course this was back in the day before you didn't share private things like that, but still...) About a week later I received this in the mail.

A leatherbound copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby" with this very sweet insert.

Sometimes it's the little things... even though I'm sure that man will never know how much that little expression of kindness meant to me, but over the years, that little book has become not only one of the very few possessions I still have from that time but also one of my all time favorite novels.

And then there were those embarrassing moments as well, like the time when I had to seat Donald Sadler, the director of "Hellzappopin."

But as happens with most good things...

First, they let a bunch of people go and my hours tripled... and then my hours suddenly got cut way back. And THEN a couple of days later I went into work to find I didn't even have a job at all! I'm still not quite sure what happened there, but I suspect it had something to do with them wanting their hosts in tuxedos...

At least the Industrial Show hadn't fallen through as they'd called to let me know we should be signing our contracts sometime within the next few days... (again). And now I also had a little more time to be able to sit on my rooftop and gaze at the skyline, still not quite believing that I was living right here in the center of the center of the world!

And then... just when I thought my self-esteem couldn't take much more of a beating, they announced another set of auditions for "Hellzappopin." The pessimist side of my said "If they didn't want me the last time why would they want me now?" While the optimist side thought "Well, they wouldn't have called me back the first time if they hadn't seen something they liked!"

Also, replacement auditions for both "Pippin" and "Chicago" were announced for that very same week! Oh My Gosh, Please!!!

Fast foward to later that week...

Axed! And I couldn't believe it! I mean, all my life I'm told that ALL I need is to audition for Bob Fosse! And then he cuts me the very first time he sees me!

I fared a little better with "Hellzappopin" or at least I stuck around to the end again where they said they'd call us... But when Mel went to talk to the producer's office on my behalf, their advice for her (for me) was to go ahead and sign the "other" contract because they still didn't know who they were going to cast and were still planning on holding (yet) another audition the following week.

So later that very same day, I trekked all the way up to 74th Street to sign my very first Actors Equity Contract. And then I bawled like a baby all the way home.

This was on October 7th 1976, the week before my 22nd birthday.

The Long(acre)est Month of My Life!...

I met Melanie at the New York Telephone Industrial Show audition and then again at the non-Equity cattle call for the upcoming Broadway show "Hellzapoppin" where we both fared really, really well. We'd scored 2 of the 15 spots (out of 125 auditionees) for the industrial show with the only downside being that it was 1) for only ONE WEEK'S work, 2) still a couple of months away.. and 3) we hadn't even signed our contracts yet!

But we were also lucky enough to be among the chosen few from the Open Call of "Hellzapoppin" who had been asked to return for the final callback on the 17th of September (almost exactly a month away!) The audition had been amazing!

*Journal entry from August 20th... "What a thrill to be dancing alone on the stage of the Winter Garden Theatre! One of the highest feelings I've had in a very long time. I mean, for a few moments there I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life!!!"

Meanwhile... Mel and her 12 bags moved into Doug's 4th floor walk up studio apartment with me.

And then, the hardest part about the rest of that long, hot August was just waiting for September!

Mel and me waiting for that phone to ring!

Me, writing in my journal...

*Journal entry from August 25th... So we went downtown to the DMV today to get our New York ID's. Never been put through more sh*t in my life!!! It cost me $10!... and with all the rude people I came out of there with tears just running down my face! Then we had no money to get home!...so we started panhandling until a cop came up and asked us if we were "soliciting!" So then of course I started crying again and he let us ride the subway for free."

Anyway, FINALLY, we heard that we had both definitely been cast in the Industrial Show... but that it had NOW been postponed until October! And so with the little time we had remaining at Doug's quickly running out we figured it was probably a good time to start looking for an apartment of our own.

*Note: Looking for an apartment with $24 to your name is pretty silly!

So after about a week of having our dreams of finding a sublet or an apartment completely DASHED we finally settled on The Longacre House - A Women's Hotel on West 45th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues, right in the heart of the Theatre District.

We each had our own room, which consisted of four walls (each), a bed, a chair, a desk and a dresser, with a communal bathroom down the hall as well as a small alcove which contained a shared sink and stove. I believe the rent was like $36 a week or something like that or at least that's what sticks in my memory. And I remember that number quite vividly, because I always had to come up with it! Fortunately, in the beginning, the refunded airline ticket really ended up coming in handy. (And yes that was back in the day when you were actually able to get one!)

Anyway, as odd as it sounds Women'a Residences were quite popular back in the day for both young theatricals and young professionals.

Who am I kidding? Melanie and I were definitely the only young "anythings" in that entire place! All the old ladies roaming the halls and peaking out of their doors really freaked me out at first, but after a while it was home. Of course it did take a couple of months to be able to afford to decorate it enough to make it comfortable, but once I had the wicker coffee table, the plants, the bamboo shade, new bedstuff, the mini fridge and the 12" TV... the place became totally mine and I loved it! (Just wish I'd ever gotten a picture of it!)

And I mean, really... Where else for less than $150 a month could one climb the stairs up to the rooftop and grab a view like this anytime they wanted?

But I'm getting WAY ahead of myself here...

One of our favorite hangouts was Joe Allen's on West 46th Street.

From Melanie's room, right across the hall, you could look out her window down onto the courtyard that backed the restaurant so it was just a quick little jaunt around the block for us. There we would sit for hours contemplating our futures. As part of the official "restaurant row" Joe Allen's has always been a very popular pre-show dinner option and an after-show gathering place for performers so we never failed to run into many of the folks we aspired to be. And with those brick walls lined with every Broadway show poster imaginable it wasn't very hard to get lost in the daydreaming.

The routine fare for us was the black bean soup WITH LOTS OF BREAD AND BUTTER (followed occassionally by a hot fudge eclair). Right? It was the cheapest thing on the menu, went down really easy and kept us full for a long time. And it really beat out the other option of heating up canned soup back in the communal kitchenette.

Another fun thing to do was to wander around inside the "Triton Gallery" right next door, where we could fill our imaginations with dreams of all the theatrical posters we hoped to be able to afford some day.

And ocassionally we'd get invited over to a friends place who actually lived in a real live apartment for dinner or something! (To be honest, we hung out with a LOT of people but mostly Mel's friends because she knew everybody!)

Vamping it up, somewhere on the Upper West Side...

In the meantime, my main priority was trying to get a song, a monologue and a headshot pulled together for the callback. I settled on "Don't Tell Mama" from "Cabaret" for my song. Can't even remember what I chose for my monologue. But I DO have this very painful reminder of my first headshot photoshoot.

What was I thinking?

Anyway...September 17th 1976 turned out to be one of the WORST days of my life up to that point (with current perspective being everything...)

I didn't get the show!

Being a tall dancer had always been a challenge for me and yet this show had specifically called for tall girls! But as it turned out "tall" in this case meant more like 5'6" to 5"8" and not 5'10"like I was. Still, Melanie, who stood inches above me, made it!

*Journal entry from September 17th... "It's hard to be happy for someone when you're feeling so very miserable at the same time. I felt so choked up as I left the theatre after watching everyone hugging and congratulating each other and talking about out of town runs. God I wanted that job so much! And it hurts because I know I did so well and was truly better than some of the girls that got it and I was just THIS CLOSE! And I know I can't blame Melanie for being so ecstatic, and I am so truly happy for her!... but would give anything to be in that position again. I just wish that somebody thought I was good besides me."
^^^Pity Party to the Max!^^^

So anyway, there I was all alone again, depressed and not to mention broke!..

But Autumn time in New York is equisite!

And for the very first September of my entire life I wasn't headed back to school!

This here was school enough for me!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile... here are a couple of pics of Melanie with Jerry Lewis during the out of town tryouts of "Hellzapoppin" that Fall...

The Girl From Venus

Star Material Fo Sho!

In A New York State of Mind...

I've been procrastinating writing this next part for so long. Though it was a time of adventure, fun and freedom it was also a time of change and an angst-filled one in my memory for sure!

Lorna and I had muddled around with the idea for a long time, that was, heading off to New York together. I don't really remember how much thought or preparation we'd put into it. I do know that on July 21, 1976 we headed off to New York without a definite place to stay. I believe we'd had tentative plans to stay at Doug's while he was on tour, even though he had already sublet his apartment to another dancer. And we were arriving several days before he was expecting us anyway.

On Our Own

Oh to be young, spontaneous and fearless once again!

Lorna and "some" guy she dragged into the picture during a our connection at "some" airport.

Mostly all I remember on our arrival was schlepping all our suitcases across town from Grand Central to the Picadilly Hotel in Time Square (this was long before the day of roller-bags!) where we checked in for $28 a night! We enjoyed the first day or two with abandon, exploring the city, seeing shows and me sharing with Lorna this incredible town in which I felt such a personal connection!

And then we decided it was probably time to call Doug before we completely ran out of money.

*I just want to share here a very vivid memory I have of our last night at the Picadilly. I woke up in the middle of the night and could not go back to sleep for anything, and as I laid there I began having these thoughts of such utter gloom and doom that it was everything I could do to not wake Lorna up. It was probably one of the longest nights of my life and I have never again, before or since, felt anything like it. Sometimes I still think about it and wonder where that came from.

And maybe it was just a foreshadowing of the most impossibly difficult day to follow...

We tried calling Doug all morning and couldn't reach him, but since we were now at the day where he was "kind of" expecting us, we figured we'd just schelp our stuff down to E. 28th St., show up on his doorstep and most likely he'd be home soon...

Several hours later (after exhausting every other possibility) we were dragging our bags back up to Grand Central Station to deposit them in lockers in order to be able to explore our possible options "bagless."

The rest of the afternoon was spent hanging out at Brew Burger, calling every 15 minutes and having a major con·nip·tion. Then we walked 50 blogs to the Baronette to see "Murder By Death" because we couldn't figure out anything else do to...

Later, after calling again and again and again, we headed back to Grand Central.

... Where we got a busy signal! And then finally, an answer! Off to grab suitcases from lockers!

Lorna's locker was empty!

Sheer panic! All of her earthly possessions gone!.. (or at least all the ones she had brought to New York!) We called a policeman over while Lorna continued turning whiter and whiter!... only to discover that while she'd stashed all her belongings in one locker, she'd taken the key from the locker above. All that time her suitcases had been sitting in an open locker, unguarded in Grand Central Station!

Finally, it was off to Doug's!

On Our Own Again

A few days later Doug left for tour with Paul Sanasardo leaving Lorna and I alone with his place for the rest of the summer. Or at least until Piper Pickeral would arrive the next week to join us... To this day I still don't remember how we managed to fit 3 girls into that (tiny) one bedroom (no closet space) apartment. Again, oh to be young!

The things that stick out in my mind the most during that hot summer month in New York I can probably count on one hand:

• Seeing "Pal Joey" at the Circle in the Square Theatre with a cast I was so impressed with!.. (many of which would several years later become my peers of sorts.)
• Playing Backgammon.
• Taking ballet and jazz classes at Morelli's on 14th Street.
• Listening to "Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris".. (If "Pippin" had been the soundtrack of the Winter of 1974 this was definitely Summer of 1976's)
• Seeing "A Chorus Line" for a second time with Sandahl Bergman as Judy and suddenly having my eye on that role!!!
• Oh and also (moving onto the second hand) waiting for the audition listings to come out in "Backstage" every Wednesday...

Meanwhile we did alot of hanging out around town as well...

About three weeks into it Lorna decided to head back home. I remember at the time thinking she was a "quitter" but in retrospect now I realize she knew what she was doing. She'd end up in only a few short years having quite the television career!

Anyway, I'd given myself a month (July 21st to August 21st) to land a job and if I didn't I was prepared to head back home as well... and back to school.

On August 13th I had exactly $3 in my pocket... (I don't really remember how I managed to fix that. Most likely my mom fixed it. :)

During that final week I had 5 auditions with callbacks for most of them. At the "New York Telephone Industrial Show" auditions I snagged one of the five non-equity callback spots (which means since it was an Equity union show, non-union dancers didn't usually stand much of a chance.) And then, I also grabbed one of the eight non-union callback slots for the upcoming new Broadway show "Hellzapoppin!" Unfortunately both of these callbacks were scheduled to happen sometime in late September! And keep in mind, I also had no idea how many official Equity members might be up for these shows!

So putting on the most colorful "brave girl" hat I could find, I cancelled my return plane ticket and scratched this on Douglas's kitchen chalkboard!

By the way, Piper Pickeral was long gone by now as well...

Then I found Melanie...